I am an embarrassing cyclist...

OK, so until recently I hadn't ridden a bike since I was about 11. Working for an electric bike company has inspired me to start cycling to and from work. I am attempting to get fit but ease myself in gently.

However, I do get palpitations before I get on my bike cos I get so freaked out by the whole thing. I'm funny like that. I'm calm as you like when I get on a plane, but a simple bicycle... sends terror into my heart.

What a wuss.

It's probably fear of looking stupid, which is entirely with foundation, as the bicycle helmet my beloved bought for me the other day is actually made for a child and elongates my face enough to make me look like a have a phallic chimney instead of a head.

Hmmm, anyway, more embarrassment follows. I'm still finding it pretty hard to negotiate tight corners, and was wobbling and falling off a bit when this woman in her car parks up right next to me and says "Are you learning?"

Oh man so embarrassing. I wanted to fold up and stow myself away in my own pockets. I flap my mouth open and closed like a goldfish."Erm," I say.

She suddenly gets all excited. "I'm learning too! I've never met another adult who's learning to ride a bike!" I can't decide whether to be relieved or more embarrassed. Still, she was nice and friendly and very sweet, just not aware of her impact on a wobbly cyclist with dented self-esteem. And a face like a phallic chimney.

Gargh.